Lords of the Lateral · Season 3
Parmesan Paladins
Baron Division
Lord Josef Danilchuk
By Rind and Blade
1–1 · 329.48 points · through Week 2
Seat of Power: The Butcher’s Rise
House lore
The Paladins age in silence.
While others chase the first bite, they harden with time—sharper, stronger, and hardest to break when the season turns.
Dismissal remains their advantage.
Honors in the Ledger
2025 Baron Division Champion (as Baker’s Dough Boys)
House Record
Through Week 2, 2026. Ranks are among 12 Houses; ties share a rank. Record ranks by wins, and fewer Points Against ranks higher. Playoff statistics exclude placement and consolation games.
- All-time regular-season record
- 18–12 (3)
- Career win percentage
- 60.0% (3)
- Points For
- 4,563.00 (4)
- Points Against
- 4,310.50 (5)
- Playoff appearances
- 2 (1)
- Playoff wins
- 2 (3)
- Finals appearances
- 0 (5)
- Crowns
- 0 (3)
Completed Seasons
| Season | Record | Points For | Distinction |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2024 | 8–6 | 2,167.00 | Worst completed season |
| 2025 | 9–5 | 2,067.00 | Best completed season |
Head-to-Head
All recorded meetings, including placement games. Records shown from this House’s perspective.
| Opponent | Record | Win % |
|---|---|---|
| Outworld Order | 2–0 | 100.0% |
| Stroud of Darkness | 2–0 | 100.0% |
| The Diamond Horde | 4–1 | 80.0% |
| Flaming Dragon | 3–1 | 75.0% |
| Mystic River Mayehem | 3–1 | 75.0% |
| Jake | 2–1 | 66.7% |
| North Medford Nightmare | 3–2 | 60.0% |
| Forward Progress | 1–1 | 50.0% |
| Tsuenami Mami | 1–3 | 25.0% |
| DolosDawgz | 0–2 | 0.0% |
| The Reckoning | 0–3 | 0.0% |
Draft Holdings
2027 3 picks
1st12nd03rd14th1
2028 4 picks
1st12nd13rd14th1
2029 4 picks
1st12nd13rd14th1
Franchise Lineage
Baker’s Dough Boys → Parmesan Paladins. One continuous franchise under its present banner.